Chronicle of the Rubber Shovel Project: Alice
Black 1981 Harley-Davidson FLTC - Tour Glide Classic

Chapter 5 - You Bitch...

Okay... So a long time ago in a land far far away... I was a young lad on a 1982 metal flake, candy apple red FLT. And like most... - stupid kids - I was having a bit of trouble with the - thought ghastly at the time - twin headlight barn door fairing that distinguished the FLT from its batwinged stablemate. So I tried converting it to an FLHS (eventually to be called a Road King..). And the bitch wobbled at 90mph no matter what (TF) I did. Unless... I put the original twin headlight barn door fairing back on, and then she was just dandy all the way past 110mph.

Alice...(being an 81)...clearly...suffers from whatever issue plagued the 82, and its wobbling at 90mph problem. Because she will NOT hold still at 90mph...for shit. So guess what I'm a thinking now... Fairing.

And that is where evenything goes completely to shit.

Yes... One would think that this would be a straightforward operation; find fairing, paint to match, bolt on fairing, done. Hahaha... Not! Remove old style turn signals from fairing; housing shatters like china doll, find only replacement is stupid money, fuck. Now I gotta fiberglass the holes where the TS's ain't any more - because it's cheaper... And I freaking hate doing body work. Mechanical, yes; electrical, yes; bodywork...I'd rather be shot. But that's not currently an option. Shit...

It's not going well...

 

Much of story missing - to be added later.. Trying to get ready for Biketoberfest

 

HD, Swap Meet, AutoZone & eBay:

Current Project Cost: $9,021.95

 

End of September 29, 2019 - Sunday

A few last minute issues, but shiny as hell.

 

Hi Wolf! ...Don't worry, the three Pendejos will stop by on the way out..

 

So time as usual is not my friend - I think it actually hates me...
So I'm skipping quite a bit here, again... But...

 

 

Monday, October 21, 2019

My brother decides to throw me quite the curveball

So after all the time spent coercing, cajoling, and conniving on how best to get away with absconding with Bitch's 5-1/2" Stroker engine. My brother hands me Bitch's title and said "Merry Christmas". And this - for reasons I would think obvious... - left me, completely, speechless ... And a very bad 'Stoic' for about an hour...

Wolf and I have close to 30 years of history. Wolf, Bitch, and I have close to 20 years of history. So this is by far no small gesture. As being entrusted with the stewardship of this bike is - to me - truly an honor.

So it is now effectively impossible for me to "Steal" the engine ...(checkmate)... Shit.

A Shovelhead Stroker Named: Bitch

 

 

Sunday, December 8, 2019
She done sprung a leak..

Online at eBay:

Current Project Cost: $9,030.37

 

Alice's (indicated) Current Mileage: 1,012.2

To date, I have put 4,558.5 miles on Alice.

 

 

Sunday, March 15, 2020
Corona Bike Week 2020

Whoever said one person can't change the world - obviously - never ate an undercooked bat...

My other brother from California was in town, and he rode Alice 466.7 miles during Bike Week.

 

Alice's (indicated) Current Mileage: 1,478.9

To date, my brother Kenny and I have put 5,025.2 miles on Alice.

Also... My Mom made a suprise appearance during Bike Week:

It took over 50 years to get this photo of all 4 of us together.

 

Saturday, March 28, 2020
So... while I'm off on a family Tangent - Dad...

Yes - I know... This is supposed to be about a motorcycle. But - at least to my way of thinking - motorcycles are family, and family is family...so I'm really just munging the two together a bit while both are being creatively assembled ... Work with me.

So Like many adopted people, I have questions about my heritage. Mom I had found on the internet 20 some odd years ago, but Dad was still a mystery. And to that end, I signed up for one of those DNA ancestry things ...(back in December of 19)... To see if anybody happened to know if Dad ever got that "pack of cigarettes" he'd stepped out for half a century ago..

Initial results of that (received in January of 20) are: I am 29% Irish!

So now I'm looking for an Irish guy named Larry, who was in California in 1964 ... Yeah, pretty thin...but it's what I got to work with. And so we wait for the DNA thingy to - hopefully... - shit something useful.

Time passed - Months. And I get an email update that "New DNA relatives had been found". Now I'd received several of these before, but no one I contacted knew of "Larry" ... Until now. This one had found a direct member of my family tree; she knew Larry quite well, and had the same last name.

Stoicism my ass - I straight up fucking lost my shit! ...I had also found Dad:

Larry Dean Dougherty - My Dad.

 

So... Like where did this awesome new information come from? Well...

Crystal Angel Dougherty - My newly found Niece!

I also have even more brothers, and a sister - But they have not as of yet agreed to be part of the Alice website...so no pictures at this time.

 

Sunday, May 10, 2020
Well...

So at this point, since Alice is running far too well to take apart and make faster... I am going to - temporarily - close the book on her story. Because Satan's Mistress (a.k.a. Bitch!) has got a long way to go before she is ready to hit the street, I have an obligation to make her right, and she is now going to be the primary focus of all available garage time.

 

- Stoic Joker

 

Friday, December 25, 2020
It was Christmas Time in the Garage...

Yes, it was Christmas time in the garage, and my Mom got a Guardian Bell for Alice. While it may not seem like much to many, this one simple act meant more to me than words will ever be able to express. So for the few that possess the capacity to understand...I share this with you - For I was in tears when she did it..